Welcome
Welcome to the official OfficeGuns website. Use the menu on the left to navigate.
Check out the new Ruler of the office and the Cluster Maul.
Do also check out the pictures some of our visitors has sent us.
It started in a meeting. We were playing bullshit bingo, and on the third round I thought to myself: "Oh my God! Can't someone just shoot that bastard?" I was getting tired of bullshit bingo and was fingering with some office supplies. As a sworn Lego-fan, I always try to connect things together. I was connecting two Maulies, then suddenly one of them flew across the room and hit the boring speaker right on the nose. He got a nose-bleed and had to stop the presentation early.
Later that week, people came in to thank me. Some even brought chocolate. But most of them wanted to know where I had bought that fabulous gun. I showed them how it was made. They were thrilled and from that day on, we haven't had a single boring presentation.
Someone said to me that I could patent the use of the Maulies and sell the ideas. But I told him: "There is enough greed in the world. I want to help people. I want their life to be a better life. I want them to have what I have. A whole range of guns. Made from office supplies."
Testimonies
"Before, I spent most of my salary at thinkgeek.com on toy weapons for the office. A net-friend told me about OfficeGuns. Now I can build my own for free and use the money on this nifty green laser."
- Giovanni, Varese, Italy
"I used to get all the boring assignments at the office. Now my boss does not dare and gives them to Brian. Thank you OfficeGuns!"
- Stan, Builth, Wales
"Life at work was peachy. Stan got all the boring assignments and I could surf all day. Now the boss comes to me with these assignments. But times are changing. I've found OfficeGuns"
- Brian, Builth, Wales
"Life as a supervisor used to be quite simple. I could delegate boring assignments to my two clueless assistants: Brian and Stan. Now they have found OfficeGuns. I do not dare approach them with boring assignments anymore. I have to do them myself. Thanks alot! >:-("
- Reg, Builth, Wales
"My husband Bubba used to come home from work all pissed off. He did not get the same respect at the office as he gets at home from me and our 5 children. But now, thanks to OfficeGuns, he can get the respect both at the office and at home. Thanks OfficeGuns!"
- Becky, Lubbock, Texas, USA
"I used to make guns from office accessories myself, but after a few accidents and some not-really-needed limbs later I've turned to OfficeGuns for the safe and tested stuff."
- Wilhelm, Peiss, Germany
Note: We never said these guns were safe! But they are tested.
"I used to be fat and without friends at the office. In meetings, I was afraid to come forward with my opinions. Then a friend told me about OfficeGuns. Now when I sit in meetings and disagree, I just shoot the bastard. I've lost weight thanks to higher confidence and now Brady is the fat friendless one. Thank you OfficeGuns"
- Mike, Douglas, Georgia, USA
"O Lord, bless this thy TEC Maul, that with it thou mayst blow thine enemies to tiny bits, in thy mercy."
- Maynard, Birkenhead, England
"I'm a distributor of office supplies in Hell (Norway) and recently the demand for office supplies has sky rocketed. I wondered why until a customer showed me your webpage. Thank you OfficeGuns"
- Thor, Hell, Norway